A lecturer at uni once told us, in China when people ask you what you do, they don’t mean for work, they mean for yourself, painting, music, dance etc, they put so much importance on looking after themselves and nurturing the creative parts of themselves. Sometimes I think that this is what we have lost in the western world, the ability to be an identity without that involving what we do for a living.
I believe that this is something that I have been trying to figure out my entire adult life and it has had a profound effect on my health.
Most practitioners in the health industry have been the patient before they decided to become the practitioner, and I am no exception. I wasn’t very kind to myself in my 20s, I was a woman of the world, travelling, drinking excessively, partying to the sun came up. Don’t get me wrong, I had a bloody good time, but I was so hell bent on keeping up with my friends, not missing out on a thing and I didn’t have a clue about how to look after myself. I was young and carefree and of course invincible. Or so I thought.
Around my mid to late 20s was when things started to catch up with me. By this stage I was working in the real estate industry in a top tier agency and my career was taking off, I was earning good money, single, living by myself in an apartment in the inner city, had great friends and from an outsider perspective, I seemed to have the world at my feet. However, I wasn’t happy and this was about the time that things got bad for me health wise.
I was burning the candle at so many ends, I worked hard and I partied hard, I suffered from things like constant headaches, chronic lower back pain, gut pain and bloating, fatigue and mild anxiety. I was constantly on the medical carousel, having expensive tests and popping this pill and that pill to manage the symptoms.
My gut issues were pretty constant and were getting worse; I was experiencing bloating and pain on a daily basis. I was again referred to a specialist, having become disheartened by the medical industry long before this, I went with reservations. This time was different though, although the diagnoses was IBS as always, it was the first time that they advised me to try a low fructose diet and this actually was life changing for me in many ways. Until then I thought I had a healthy diet, but truth was I was eating so much hidden sugar and it was making me very unwell.
This was all a catalyst for me to start getting really curious about my body, especially the effect of food and how we eat, the detrimental impact of food marketing and the diet industry, but also on mental health in relation to illness, I started to educate myself and see that all these things were connected, that illness and disease are not a singular random occurrence but directly impacted by our lifestyles, the food we eat, the choices we make and the stress we impact on ourselves. I started to see my life in a totally different way and that I was directly responsible for how I felt on a day to day basis… was this how I wanted things to continue for the next however many years? The answer was no, changes needed to be made and I went through a lot of soul searching before deciding that I wasn’t being fulfilled by my career, that I needed to make more of a difference than that. But what to do?
The decision to study Chinese Medicine came easily once I decided to take a leap. I had been getting acupuncture for a while for my heavy periods as I had come of the pill shortly after realising it was affecting my mental health. I loved how Chinese Medicine looks at each person as an individual and treats the root cause of the ailment specifically to the person, not the disease. I love that it’s all about balance. Things started to fall into place, my boss agreed for me to work part time, and during those 6 years of study I met my now husband. Life was good, I was in the best health of my life, I was learning so much and my eyes opening wider and more clearer every day. I thought I had it all figured out.
Then I had a baby…. and things started to spiral out of control again. I graduated from uni and started back at my corporate job after 9 months of maternity leave. Being a working mum with a one year old I started to forget to look after myself, I was under a lot of pressure to be everything to everyone and went through quite a stressful time adjusting to this new way of life, my diet suffered, I didn’t have time to meditate or go to yoga classes to manage the stress, I just kept pushing myself. I left myself. I desperately wanted to make the leap of faith and start practicing acupuncture but fear kept getting in the way. I was still tied to this corporate identity no matter how much I knew it wasn’t good for me, I couldn’t seem to part with it.
It was at this time my gut issues reared their ugly head again, this time with vengeance, I started jumping on and off the medical carousel again trying to get to the bottom of what was going on, I had never experienced symptoms this badly before and it wasn’t responding to acupuncture herbs or dietary changes. I desperately started to try to manage my stress but it was too little too late, I ended up in the emergency room one morning and that’s when things started to became really clear, it was my “rock bottom” health wise I guess.
I took a couple of weeks off work and rested, like really rested, and I knew what I needed to do. So I resigned. I resigned from my job, my corporate career, my (great) source of income, my work identity and my stress. I started this blog, I reduced my working hours so I can spend more time with my family but also with myself, I found the confidence to register to practice acupuncture and sought a clinic to work from. I cut my salary in third and feel sooooo overwhelming good (but so freakin scared!) about it.
This life thing, with its crazy twists and turns, teaches us so many lessons along the way, the trick is to look out for the signs, sometimes subtle or sometimes, like my recent experience, it hits you between the eyes with a sledge hammer. I don’t profess to know everything, I’m far from perfect, and most of the time I don’t know what the hell is going on. I often doubt myself. But I know I’m so supported at this time and I’m so grateful that I have the knowledge and tools to get myself well again. Like most practitioners I am constantly working on myself, using myself as a guinea pig, trying on new things and seeing how they fit. My past experiences and challenges with health has lead me to where I am today and the practitioner that I have become.
So now, here I am, an acupuncturist, mother, wife, healer, writer, health geek, foodie, day dreamer. This is what I do.
So my question to you is…What do you do?